THE HALL OF FAME:

UMINEKO NO NAKU KORO NI

look, man. if you know me literally at all, youd know this would show up here. where do i even start.

i was introduced to this behemoth via the anime adaptation when i was in middle school. i Adored higurashi already, so finding what to me at the time was its extra gory sibling was incredibly exciting. i was a weird kid - elfen lied was a fave of mine at the time (yeah), resident evil and mortal kombat were in regular rotation when i was still in single digit ages, full of their low res blood and guts galore. despite this i was still too scared to go down halloween aisles in stores for a time, haha.

back then, the draw of the series for babby rex was "WOAH. BLOOD ! GUTS ! SOOOO COOL". i drew so much fanart for it lost to the tides of time, got absorbed in the old silly memes of the time (satan spin, anyone ?), and had these big dreams of cosplaying it one day. never did. i should...

anyway, the anime ended on ep4, alliance of the golden witch. this was where i encountered ange for the first time ever. little did i know this would have an irreversible effect on my psyche. i have been in the anmamo fanclub since 2010 and im still going strong.

seeing ange unlocked something in my little closeted brain. it also gave me a lot of strength, as a kid in a horrific traumatic living environment at the time. however, the anime never actually was properly finished; it only covers the question arcs, and does so... questionably. at the time, with me not knowing the vn even existed, i was perfectly fine with it.

fast foward a few years. i am ~18 or so, and i suddenly remember umineko is a thing and that the opening song kicks ass. mangagamer announces a hardcopy of the question arcs, and i fucking jump on that shit. to keep a long story short - the question arcs alone changed me in a major way. i grabbed the answer arcs as fast as i could and went from there. on 1/28/18, i finished reading umineko in its entirety for the first time.

to say it changed my life feels like its putting it too simply, but it did. even now as i am rereading it, im much more strongly able to really understand and grasp much of what its trying to say after experiencing the absolute depths of grief for myself. umineko is full of so much love, so much hope amidst the pain and sorrow inside of it. i genuinely strongly believe that if you want to TRULY understand me as a person, you need to experience umineko.

...whats with me and sad witch games ?

to quote my backloggd review: fatamoru is heartwrenchingly tragic, unflinching and brutal, and one of the greatest love stories ever told. i was recommended this one by my lovely friend breege. i was at a weird, precarious time of my life around here; heavily in the throes of substance abuse and knee-deep in dysphoria that was slowly killing me. i figured that this game, if nothing else, would be a nice distraction - it was long and the plot sounded pretty interesting.

i had no idea that it would completely change my outlook on myself, nor that it would kickstart me pursuing medical transition. not to be too grim but like, a big reason i did not attempt suicide that year was because "i cannot die before i know what happens to [CHARACTER]. i need to see where this goes". im so glad i waited.

fatamorus story is really something special. the way so many little details end up all coming together was such an indescribeable moment for me, a high id been chasing since umineko. you think that you know whats going on, only for the rug to be yanked out from under you, and its back to square one. it isnt without its flaws, but truly what isnt ? fatamoru also has some very good "pissed the fuck off teenage girl with severe PTSD" rep in it and i related very hard to it.

moyataros artwork is absolutely standout here. it inspired a lot of my own colour use in my painted pieces. the artbook is an absolute feast for the eyes - getting some nice up close looks at those brush strokes is deliiiiiiicious. THE MUSIC. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED. try listening to "a fleeting fata morgana" after finishing without crying and see how it goes for you.

yup, this ones here too.

if you asked me which i preferred to umi or higu i genuinely could not tell you. it depends on what i most recently interacted with. i love them both and would not be the same person without either of them. higurashi is so nostalgic to me. when i was a kid, i was into it because WOAH SCARY. coming back to it as an adult was one of the best possible things i could have done, especially coming back to the vn versions, as much like umineko i only knew of higus anime for far too long. unlike others i dont hate higus anime at all - especially season 2, its super solid !! but, i admit part of that is nostalgia goggles. haha.

coming to really truly understand what ryukishi was conveying with it was an incredible experience. theres some definite pacing issue moments (MAJONGGGGGGG LETS GOOOOO MAJONGGGGGG) but chapter 6 onwards is where things really start to shine. i adore the cast, theyre just a bunch of kids in a terrible situation and the slice of life really makes the awful tragedy and horror hit all that much harder.

its sticky, humid summer air, crying cicadas and running around with your friends. its the feeling of eyes on your back and your skin crawling knowing something is fucking waiting to hurt you. its longing for forgiveness. longing to forgive. its a lot of things, and while some of the stuff here is excruciatingly eyeroll worthy, there is so much heart at its core if you can stomach it.

oh good god.

so, i would put VLR here too, but i havent actually finished that one. this section will likely be rewritten to reflect my feelings as i finish the zero escape series in general, but as of right Now, 999 is my fav of the bunch. ive played it front to back a few times now in an effort to get every ending, and i thiiiink ive done that ? maybe ? i'll have to do it again now that i can play it on my 3ds. shoutouts to homebrewing.

im off topic.

999 was a wild ride through and through. some really fun puzzles, but i am a little stupid so i did use guides here and there. im dyscalculic pardner, if i hit a wall too hard about numbers im not gonna torture myself about it. even then, wow wow wow what a treat those escape rooms are. the music is also phenomonal !

the cast is real stand-out. i love the way the game constantly makes you suspect just about everyone at a given moment. it always feels like youre looking over your shoulder warily. the amount of times i thought i was on the right track only to be majorly thrown off was honestly a LOTTTT of fun hehehehe. AKANE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YU O. my first playthru was completed on steam, so i did not get to experience the final puzzle in all its glory. this second time im going thru on my 3ds, so i cannot wait for the emotional devistation of it this time !

if you want to experience some really wild character dialogue, insane mind bending plot, and THE FUCKING PUSHMASTER BANE OF MY EXISTENCE - play this.

"rex," you may wonder, "those above ones are like mysteries and shit. where did this one come from". a fair question !

i was introduced to petz 4 and its modding scene thru several friends of mine, namely mortis (who runs a very cool petz site, scope em out !!). pretty quickly i was drawn to just how special this little game feels. unlike a lot of stuff, theres not really an objective or goal here - you make / raise little guys. the game is a playground and you decide what that means for you.

something my friends introduced me to was this idea of almost roleplaying thru petz; making characters out of critters in my head and noting their relationships with others. it harkens to mind the way my sisters and i played games when we were younger, like my twin and i pretending the barn in some midway game was a drive-thru food place and we had to drive to get it, or my little sister demanding i voice act random npcs in skyward sword while she ran around as link making up our own storylines. its a sort of imaginative play that, in my adulthood, ive really come to miss. not a lot scratches that itch. this Does !

the modding scene is genuinely really crazy stuff, and is very much alive and well to this day. i personally have had a lot of fun making my own little guys, or retexturing existing breedfiles by other people (but make sure theyre okay with it first !!). its a really satisfying art form and game, watching something you did come to life and feel so tactile. the amount of character within this old game blows me away every time i open it. theres really nothing like it out there. if youre even a little curious, please try it out.

i wanted to give all of these at least a decent sized segment, but im gonna keep it extra snappy and short for this one... partially because im in the middle of replaying it again.

one of the most stylish games to exist, with rotoscoped animation that still holds up like gold to this day. a REAL strong cast of characters, awesome soundtrack, and a story thats stuck with me for ages now. the puzzles here are some of the most fun ive had with a game ever.

im just saying, theres a reason half the time you see this game talked about, its just people saying "play ghost trick". so now its my turn: please, PLEASE, play ghost trick.

while im not, like, the most into this these days, id be a total liar to deny the emotional chokehold this game still has on me. several of the songs on the soundtrack still choke me up to this very day.

its kind of crazy how big this got, yknow ? one of very, very few games to honestly make me full on ugly-cry. thats an accomplishment. i felt so immersed in the world this game painted the first time i played it, and it was really such a special feeling. the gameplay is just plain good stuff, it challenged me quite a bit several times (but i am doooogshit at danmaku / adjacent stuff :P).

i think for a long time i was too embarrassed to really put this on a list of this nature ? but im too old to really give a shit anymore. no amount of cringey fandom shit being annoying or whatever will ever take away the really beautiful moments i had with this game, and i am tired of pretending otherwise !!!! its good !!!

i need to actually experience deltarune, now that i think about it. ill have to update this section once i finally do. ive put it off long enough, and writing this + remembering how solid of an experience undertale was made me want to do that some time. we'll see !

more TBA later on. wheeee.